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The Chronicles of Ape
When Ape speaks you listen
Created on 2005-02-01 11:35:35 (#5979871), last updated 2009-07-06
1,886 comments received, 1,884 comments posted
Basic Account [Gift]
626 Journal Entries, 719 Tags, 0 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 6 Userpics
Basic Info| Name: | Ape |
|---|---|
| Birthdate: | 1985-12-22 |
| Location: | Sweden |
Bio--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I will never do anything that justifies creating a biography, therefore I will make one now just because I want to.
When I was born and my birth certificate was filled out, the nurse asked my dad if he was the father. He looked at my mum, shrugged and said "Well, I haven't watched over her 24/7 so how should I know?!". My father's sense of humour caused my birth certificate to read "Father Unknown" for quite some time, but I'm told they went back and corrected it.
When I was 3 years old I spent all of New years Eve crying, because the sounds and lights of the fireworks going off scared me so bad. My mother held me tightly and covered my ears and spent the night unsuccessfully trying to hush me to sleep.
When I was 4 years old my family was having dinner at a restaurant. At some point I bored with the food and went off to make my own fun. I hung around the entrance to the restaurant and to everyone who walked through the door I firmly but politely told "There are no tables left so you can just go home." despite the restaurant only being half full. My older sister's often retold this story and with an affectionate voice always ends with "You have never made me more embarrased than you did then."
When I was 6 years old I cut my hair so short that it was almost standing up on my head. Same summer I scraped my knees real bad not once, but 3 times. First time I was practising sliding into a curve with my bike and slid all the way across the road and into the bushes. The second time I was carrying a tray with food on and couldn't really keep my feet and the tray under control and stumbled on thin air. The last time I was running around chasing something or someone and some pebbles found their way under my shoes and caused my to take a dive.
When I was 8 years old we went on a vacation and stayed at this big, brown massive timber youth hostel. Me and my sister were bored and I decided it would be fun to climb around on the outside of this building. The fun stopped when I scrapped my hand against the building getting a massive splinter lodged between my knuckles. My dad had to hold me down while my mum did her best to remove it while I was squealing like a pig. A nifty scar between my mid knuckles on my left hand still witness of this horrible event.
When I was 10 years old I realised that I wasn't like other children and established that grey was my favourite colour and the racoon my favourite animal, contrary to the more popular red and dog.
When I was 15 years old I realised I really wasn't like other teens and that sexuality could be a bitch.
When I was 17 years old decided that I wanted to study in England. When the first letter of acceptance arrived I spent 15 minutes running around our house screaming "Fuck Yes!" (my English vocabulary's gotten better since then) and jumped up and down on our couch until the rest of my family got home.
When I was 20 years old I spent 11 weeks in the US. Despite fears of ear worshiping redneck cults I survived and even got to go home with a bag full of very nice memories and a decent tan and more freckles than you would want to count. I also discovered how much I like spooning and that your arms can produce sweat outside of the sauna (events unrelated).
I think I have proved my point, there will be no biography written about me, but at least I have documented my life with a few sentences in case some descendant of my family for some ungodly reason one day would like to know who I was.
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These are my beloved Oddballs. From left to ríght. Lolita. Mousse. Marty. And Me.
Things you absolutely MUST check out!
Better be Paris
Ape's 101-list
The Oddballs in all their Glory
ConnectInterests (23):
angel, archaeology, btvs, david bowie, ed wood, eddie izzard, fantasy, firefly, heroes, icons, indiana jones, john waters, johnny depp, kamikaze girls, movies, oddballs, quotes, rhps, sidekicks, tattoos, terry pratchett, writing, xwp
External Services:
 | thejollyape@livejournal.com |
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